So, as you all know, I started my blog, Start Her Up, at the P-I.  I accidentally stirred up a whole firestorm with my post on the angel investor process here in Seattle (oooooppppps.) (Honestly, didn't mean to do that, I thought I was being helpful.)

In any event, the intent was just to offer info about stuff I've learned in the process - seating a board, staying focused, raising money etc.....  So, trying to smooth ruffled feathers but also staying focused, I kept doing what I do - telling stories. And today, I learned that Start Her Up has been added to the ranks at AllTop.com. AllTop was started by Guy Kawasaki and his friends. So, having them think I'm a worth top blog is great.  I smiled.

In the meantime, however, I could use a little support. I'm feeling a little lonely on Start Her Up. Need a little back up that it's good info that real people want and that I'm not a bitch. Could use a little back up by way of comments, and spreading the word that Start Her Up is here....  And questions - what do you want me to talk about?

Thanks. 

Now, check out Alltop.com, good stuff - and not just 'cause they like me.

It was only 3 of us, but we had a blast! It turns out the Fusion Ultra Lounge is also owned by a woman, and a mom of two, who is only 27! We are definitely coming back.

Anyway, we felt like meeting once a month, so stay tuned for the next event update. There was so much shared, I can't even put it all here, plus I have yet another investor pitch tomorrow in the morning, so need to sleep (and my son didn't fall asleep until I got home by 10:30 pm - he doesn't like to be put to bed by the babysitter...).

One of the things that came up tonight was not being taken seriously by investors because of being a girl, and a cute girl on top of that. We have shared stories of some jerks (honestly, I don't have another word for them) trying to take advantage of us, casually touching our face or inviting us to "pitch" in their home or car. This kind of stuff is never spoken about, but we felt we need to come out of the woods and talk about it. We are not men haters, not at all. But there are jerks out there who just don't think of us womenpreneurs anything more than a cute sexy object that probably is lacking brains. I felt really relieved by finding out it was not only me who was in a situation like that, and we all agreed to share the stories but not naming names. So join the talk, spill it out. What happened to you? Where? In what context? We can all learn from each other. We also can use being women, of course, but we have to be smart about it.

Just so you know that I am not simply blabbing, I will go first. Here is my story.

A while ago, early in the fundraising process, one of my service providers recommended a person they knew who was supposed to be an angel investor. Awesome. We talked on the phone, and I (on a whim) have invited the guy to our house for dinner (later, one of my advisors taught me two rules about women/men business relationships - always meet in a public place, and NEVER invite anyone into your home unless it is a friend). Back to story - both me and my husband liked the guy, and I was of course enamored by all the smart things he said. He invited me to come to his office, which turned out to be private, plus he told me I would be a great tester for his new massage related start-up. The bell should have rung in my head, right? Well, it didn't. I didn't suspect anything until I was invited to have a meeting in a car while driving, and then taking a look at his new house. It was all business until I got out of the car, in the dark neighborhood, thinking what a fool I am. Suddenly, it was scary. I thought to myself, I have sharp keys in my pocket, my elbows... I kept distance, and I could just feel the electricity coming from him (by the way, he has a wife and kids). I carefully implied that it is really late, and I really need to get home. He drove me to where my car was parked, we shook hands, and I ran to my car, drove home, and collapsed in my husband's arms - I think he held me for 20 minutes until I stopped shaking. That guy was a real FREAK!!! How did I not spot it before? I don't know. I was looking at him like at a god of some sort - so smart, so successful, you know how it gets. YUCK!!! One of my girlfriends later told me, I was stupid to even go for a car meeting in the first place. Well, I don't know if it was cultural (I am from Russia), or if I was really stupid.

I will only say I have been waiting for more than a year to share this story. Now it has come out. And I feel lighter. I did bump into the guy later at a store, we shook hands, and he looked away. I felt stronger then him by not avoiding him and hiding behind the counter or something!!!

Was it my fault? You bet it was. I should have known better. Was it his fault? Yes! The guy knew what he was getting at.

I know it is scary and not pretty, but come out and share your stories - it will make us girls so much stronger and smarter on how to avoid this type of stuff in the future!

My favorite story about gender divide in a tech startup can be related in a bit about a client of ours.

About 18 months ago, Blue Gecko was contacted by a former colleague of mine with an opportunity to do some remote dba and systems administration work for his new employer.  My partner told me about the lead only by company and colleague name.  Having recently read a NYT article about this company, I squealed.  So, yeah, not my most professional moment, but I was stoked. 

 I started explaining (at 90 miles an hour I'm sure) the business model and the buzz and got a nonplussed stare back.  I increased the speed of my explanation trying to draw in the "NetFlix of handbags" analogy and stepped out into our main work area addressing the only other woman in the office. As you might guess, she'd hear of Bag Borrow or Steal and joined in my revelry.  We couldn't get quite the enthusiasm worked up with the guys, but Bag, Borrow or Steal is a customer still.

 

Ksenia, Sarah and I are having drinks tomorrow night, Thursday April 3rd  7pm at the Fusion Ultra Lounge in the University District of Seattle. We want you to join us.  If you are a chick with a startup and want to lick your wounds with us, tell tales, inspire each other, whatever. You'll find us there.

Sorry for the original post that said Wednesday April 3rd. Heard from some of you that that was confuisng....  yeah, I would think so! 

So, I don't know how many of you saw my recent blog post on www.StartHerUp.com, but it was one I thought long and hard about posting. Well, it's one I SHOULD HAVE thought long and hard about posting, but the truth is, I didn't. It had to be said. So I spent a little time saying it nicely, but - as I always tell my daughter to - I told it like I see it. It was a little scary. I don't really want to "piss off" the angel groups in town. I believe they are run by good people and attended by good people - on both sides of the equation. But I also believe they don't work, and I kind of think that I wasted a lot of time and money there. Two kinds of capital that I am woefully short on, and as such, have to be careful with. Ironically, I had a casual meeting today with a local VC, not one who is necessarily interested in JUST CAUSE, but a great informational meeting. One of the first things she did was to congratulate me on that blog post. Remarked that everyone knows it, but no one said it, and told me, with a smile, that I have "very big balls." That there is a BIG complement to a chick like me. :) It reminded me that, at the end of the day, we are all at our best when we are true to ourselves. Not just because the actions themselves matter, but the energy you generate inside you own soul when you do that is huge. I think that integrity in thought and deed generates its own energy, and when you're climbing that startup hill, that energy is the one thing that no one else can help you with. Speak your mind. Follow your instincts. Be true to who you are. The right people notice when you do that, and the wrong people fall away..... Good day. For sure. But now it's bed time. xo - alyssa